Over the years, Lois and I have dabbled in doing diets. We tried the Atkins Diet, the South Beach Diet, the Mediterranean Diet, Intermittent Fasting, and our most go-to diet, WW (formerly, Weight Watchers.) I was saddened by the news last week that Weight Watchers was filing for bankruptcy, a victim of the new and popular GLP-1 drug promotions. Jennifer Weiner, a novelist, and commentator about gender and culture for the New York Times, wrote a piece recently titled: Weight Watchers Got One Thing Very Right. (May 15, 2025). Her writing had a significant impact on me.
Weight Watchers meetings were a third space, those increasingly rare places that are not work and are not home. In 1990s Philadelphia, as in the rest of the world, Weight Watchers groups were almost entirely made up of women. But they were otherwise diverse, bound not by race or religion, politics or class but by a common goal. In recent years Weight Watchers meetings became one of the all-too-rare places in America where conservatives and progressives found themselves sitting side by side, commiserating about the same plateaus or the same frustrations or the same annoyance that the powers that be had changed the point value of avocados, again.
It wasn’t the diet but the connection, “the gathering, the community,” that was the Weight Watchers secret sauce, said Zibby Owens, an author, publisher and book influencer who spent some time working as a Weight Watchers leader. “When you lost five pounds, you would announce it and get a special bookmark, and everyone would cheer,” she told me this week. “There are so few opportunities to have a room full of people cheer you on for doing anything.”
Recently, Mrs. Owens has been open about her significant GLP-1-fueled weight loss, but she still sees the value of the connection and support that the old-school Weight Watchers meetings provided. “The loss of those meeting rooms is another way that our world today is becoming more disaggregated, more separated,” she said.
There are, of course, other ways to find community. We can still join a synagogue or mosque, a weekend running club or a local volunteer effort. Mrs. Owens thinks book clubs are one of the more resilient structures — “Count pages, not points,” she said. The problem is that studies have shown that once we lose community and connection — when it becomes easier to play indoors on our phones than outside with our neighbors, to stream a sermon than to go to church or to do our shopping online instead of going to a store and interacting with other human beings — we are unlikely to rediscover them.
What a wonderful line: “It wasn’t the diet but the connection, the gathering, the community, that was the Weight Watcher secret sauce.”
We find ourselves in the season for collegiate commencement addresses. I love reading as many as I can. Our unfit president, DJT, yet again embarrassed himself in his address to the 1002 graduating cadets from West Point. Under his obnoxious red signature MAGA golf hat, he went off script often, once in the following way:
Speaking to graduating cadets, Trump told a story about William Levitt, the real estate developer who pioneered mass-produced homes in suburban developments known as Levittowns.
Trump brought Levitt up as an example of someone who had “momentum” in his career and then lost it. While discussing the life of the “great, great real estate man,” Trump made a point to comment on his marital history.
“He ended up getting a divorce, found a new wife,” Trump said. “Could you say a trophy wife? I guess we can say a trophy wife. It didn’t work out too well, but that doesn’t work out too well, I must tell you. A lot of trophy wives, it doesn’t work out. But it made him happy for a little while at least. But he found a new wife.” (Transcript))
OMG! This is our President!
In contrast, Kermit the Frog spoke at the University of Maryland, offering three points of sagely wisdom. He said:
Now, I realize that today is one of the most important days of your lives, so, I am honored to share some words of wisdom about three things that are close to my heart: Finding your people, taking the leap, and making connections.
In what must have been a poignant moment in the speech, Kermit said the following:
Right now you're all dressed in your caps and gowns all grown up. But your family is probably looking at you still seeing you as that little preschooler sitting crisscross applesauce, maybe learning the alphabet from my friend Big Bird on Sesame Street. And, for you, that was a lifetime ago. But for them probably feels like yesterday.
Which brings me to one really important connection that I got to mention and that's the one that you share with your parents or your family or the special people who helped you get here today. And you all know who they are. A lot of them, they're probably here right now. And some of them they might not be, but, trust me, you're still connected to them. You really are. And that's the thing about love: It sticks with you even when you're apart. So, let's give all of those connections a round of applause, too.
Because, if I know a thing, it's important to stay connected to your loved ones, stay connected to your friends, and most of all stay connected to your dreams. No matter how big. No matter how impossible they seem. The truth is dreams are how we figure out where we want to go. And life is how we get there. So, graduates, I see you. I see you out there. And I know that you will find your people. I know that you're going to take big leaps and I know that even though you're about to throw your caps in the air — good luck finding 'em again — I know that you will stay connected, to your families, your friends and your dreams. Because, life's like a movie. Write your own ending. Keep believing. Keep pretending. You've all done just what you set out to do. And you're just getting started!
“It wasn’t the diet but the connection, the gathering, the community, that was the Weight Watcher secret sauce.”
I had a wonderful Memorial Day Weekend. Church on Sunday, The Lion’s Pancake Breakfast on Monday before Coventry’s Memorial Day Parade. Our grandson, Cole, had an overnight and had a wonderful time at breakfast, (three pancakes, two sausages, eggs and two glasses of orange juice, one spilled and one drank) and then the parade, collecting candy thrown from the firetrucks. I so enjoyed ‘connecting’ with so many of our former parishioners and friends, in particular, former confirmands who are now married and have children of their own. I am reminded of the quote by Jean Houston, scholar, author, and researcher:
Human connections are deeply nurtured in the field of shared story.
Our field was both expansive and deep, and our shared story, rooted in faith, family, friendship, and community, is a treasured reality of my life. My heart hurts whenever and wherever I experience the diminishment of the bonds that connect our lives together.
In November of 2024, David Brooks was invited as a keynote presenter at Duke University’s Sanford School of Public Policy. The title of the seminar was David Brooks on Human Connection in a Dehumanized World. Two of his crucial points are as follows:
- A Society in Need of Connection
Brooks painted a stark picture of American society grappling with loneliness, distrust, and despair. "The number of Americans who say that no one knows me well is 54%," he revealed, emphasizing the urgent need for connection. He attributed this crisis, in part, to a societal failure to teach essential social skills: "For a couple of generations now, we have neglected to teach people the social skills needed to be centered to people and the complex circumstances of life."
- Diminishers vs. Illuminators
Brooks introduced the concepts of "diminishers" and "illuminators" to illustrate the impact individuals have on others. "Diminishers are people who are un-curious about you," he explained. "The other kind of people are called illuminators and those are people who are curious about it, they make you feel lit up." He stressed the importance of cultivating the qualities of an illuminator to foster meaningful connections.
In my previous blog post, I mentioned that Jesus declared us to be the light of the world, equipped for the role of illuminator, in the sense that Brooks means it. We are called to be laser focused on the needs of people and the complex circumstances of life, involved in ways that light up those whose energy sources have been exhausted. The secret sauce of life is meaningful connections, valued gatherings and an authentic sense of community.
With Pentecost just a week away, I am thinking of that extraordinary event as recorded by Luke in Acts 2: 1-21. Talk about being “lit up?” Read these few words.
2 When the day of Pentecost had come, they were all together in one place. 2 And suddenly from heaven there came a sound like the rush of a violent wind, and it filled the entire house where they were sitting. 3 Divided tongues, as of fire, appeared among them, and a tongue rested on each of them. 4 All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other languages, as the Spirit gave them ability.
Everyone was gathered in one place. There were tongues of fire for each, and all were filled with the Holy Spirit. Gathered, connected, in community, they were then sent forth to proclaim the Gospel and change the world. That is our shared story, and we continue its essential import for our lives when we stay connected and gather in faith and live as a community of family, friends and neighbors who lift and light each other up!
Let me close with this quote from Melinda Gates: